I’m not smart enough to tell you the answer to this question in this article, this is simply a thought experiment.
As discussed in the Ted talk by Anil Seth several years ago, “reality is a shared hallucination“ – watch the video below. I very much agree with this summation.
Anil Seth – 2017 Ted Talk.
In my own words, which is also my opinion, is that we as humans simply perceive the world as a subjective experience, and when there is general consensus amongst other people on a particular part of that experience, we all view that as reality (or real).
You’ll notice that I’ll be mixing up the terms perception or subjective experience or experience AND reality or fixed reality or objective experience… but I generally mean the same two things.
Reality One
For example, in the dining room of your family home, you perceive that there is a dining table because you can see it and you can feel it with your hands, and your family members can also see it and feel it. Your body's senses are “inputting” that table into your mind and your mind is constructing the subjective experience of that table, and your social communication with your family members about that table is re-enforcing the reality of that dining room table.
Subjective experience + Consensus = Reality.
Reality Two
Reality is very different in this next example. Matt and Katie attend Janis’ 40th birthday party at her house. Everyone is having a good time, however Janis has a few too many drinks and gets extremely drunk; she gets loud and starts dancing in the middle of the lounge, knocking into people and furniture.
At the end of the night as Matt and Katie left the party, they talked and Matt thought it was a great night and Janis was fun and funny while Katie thought the party was good until Janis ruined it by getting drunk and obnoxious.
This is not uncommon where two people attend the same fixed reality but walk away with a different subjective experience.
So in this case, Subjective experience + Consensus = Objective experience did occur in terms of Matt and Katie observing the reality that Janis got drunk and rowdy, however their subjective experiences about how the party went by the end of the night were very different:
Subjective experience – Consensus = Differing Reality
Why is your reality different to mine?
In the Reality Two example there is a clear difference between the realities that both Matt and Katie took away from the birthday party; why is that?
I feel that it all comes down to something like the “lineage of experience”, which is near impossible to fully understand but feels as real as night and day.
What I mean by this term is that during your life, all your subjective and objective experiences have eventually lead you to thinking like Matt or thinking like Katie, or even something in between. Neither is right or wrong, it just is. All of your experiences that determine how things appear to you.
SO?
So, what's the big deal about all this talk on different realities? Well, it’s kind of like saying we’re all walking around with our own personal bubbles. These bubbles are made up of everything we’ve ever seen, done, or felt. They colour the way we see the world—like looking through tinted glasses. You’ve got your pair, and I’ve got mine, and sometimes, we forget that not everyone is looking through the same tint.
This means when we bump into each other and share our views, we’re not always going to see eye to eye. And that’s okay. It’s actually pretty cool when you think about it. It means that everyone you meet has a whole world inside them that's a little bit different from yours. When you chat with someone and they see things differently, it's like getting a sneak peek into another bubble.
So, instead of getting all worked up when someone doesn’t get where you’re coming from, or you don’t get their vibe, maybe we can just ask, “Hey, what's it like in your bubble?” This isn't about who's right or wrong. It’s about understanding that everyone’s bubble is shaped by their own journey—their ups, downs, laughs, and tears.
Imagine how dull it would be if we all saw the world in the exact same way. Like eating your favourite ice cream every single day. Sounds awesome at first, but eventually, you’d miss out on all the other flavours out there.
So next time you find yourself scratching your head at how someone could possibly see things the way they do, remember the bubbles. Maybe ask them about theirs, share a bit about yours, and who knows? You might just discover a flavour of reality you never knew existed.
It's all about being curious, kind, and open. After all, navigating this big, wild world with all its different bubbles is what makes life interesting. Let’s not miss out on the adventure by forgetting that, deep down, we’re all just trying to make sense of the view from our own little spot on the globe.
Nature and/or Nurture
So, I've got a son and a daughter. Right from the get-go, my son was all about what you might call typical boy stuff, and my daughter was pretty much the poster child for classic girl interests. Woke warning: for those who are triggered by my previous statement, by “typical”, I mean observed behaviours which common in majority of instances.
My wife and I didn’t push them toward these choices. My son gravitated to Hot-Wheels like they were magnetised, and my daughter was all about dolls from the word go. It got me thinking—how does this happen? If we didn’t steer them one way or the other, why did they naturally lean into these roles?
Is there something baked into us from the start that nudges us towards certain toys, activities, or interests? How much of what we like is because we’re just wired that way, and how much is because of what we see around us?
It’s like this puzzle where you’re trying to figure out where our kids get their likes and dislikes. Is it something in their DNA, or are they just picking up on cues from the world around them? And no matter how neutral you try to be as a parent, these preferences pop up all on their own.
It makes you wonder about the whole nature versus nurture debate. Are we born with a blueprint that says, “You’ll love cars” or “You’re all about that doll life,” or is it more about the world they see around them shaping their choices?
This isn’t about settling the debate once and for all. It’s more about noticing how fascinating it is that kids can surprise us by being themselves, in their own unique ways, right from the start. Whether it’s nature, nurture, or a mix of both, watching them unfold into their own little people with their own likes and dislikes is one of the coolest parts of being a parent.
Where did the lineage of this experience come to be?
What is ingrained in most of us that caused us to prefer this verses that without any pre-defined bias?
Embracing the Mystery
As we've wandered through these thoughts on reality, personal bubbles, and the nature-versus-nurture conundrum, one thing becomes crystal clear: life is a tapestry woven from threads of mystery, choice, and perhaps a bit of pre-programmed coding. Whether we're talking about how we perceive the world differently or how our children come to love the toys they do, it's evident that human experience is rich, complex, and beautifully varied.
This journey isn't about finding definitive answers to age-old questions. Instead, it's about appreciating the questions themselves. It's about understanding that our differences in perception, our debates about nature versus nurture, and our individual pathways through life add depth and colour to the human experience. These discussions remind us that there's always more to learn about ourselves and each other.
So, what's the takeaway from all of this? Perhaps it's a call to approach life with curiosity, openness, and a deep appreciation for the diversity of experiences that shape us. It's an invitation to embrace the unknown, to cherish the unique perspectives we each bring to the table, and to foster a world where these differences are celebrated rather than feared.
In the end, the beauty of our shared journey is not found in agreement on every detail but in the rich tapestry of perspectives that each person contributes to the whole. It's in the conversations that challenge us, the experiences that shape us, and the love that connects us, despite—or perhaps because of—our differences.
So, let's keep exploring, questioning, and growing together. After all, it's in the weaving of our individual stories that the true beauty and complexity of humanity emerges. Here's to the mystery, the learning, and the endless journey of discovery that lies ahead.
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